BDS vs BDSM: How to Spot the Difference
I’ll be honest. Whenever I hear BDS, I like to finish the thought as BDSM. Sometimes I’ll even write it BDS(M). Why do I do this? Because I like BDSM (or at least am grateful that it exists.) And I don’t like BDS.
Why is that? We’ll get into specifics.
The first, very big difference between the two is this: consent. Consent is a very important part of BDSM. Consent is completely absent in the BDS movement. And for my part: I consent to the fact that there are websites, clubs, and special events where BDSM exists. I do not consent to the fact that there are university campuses, unions, churches, and other unsuspecting places where BDS is thrust upon everyone associated.
And now for the nitty gritty. From afar, BDSM and BDS have a lot in common. They’re both about a type of abuse that a type of person would sign up for. They both require a lot of effort, planning, and sometimes money. They both can involve a lot of screaming.
But up close, they are very different. Let’s look at how to tell them apart.
Definitions
BDSM is a multi-part initialism that stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and submission, Sadism and masochism. What a cool way to have words nested inside of each other! BDSM is often thought of as a sexual practice, but it can also be a defining feature of a relationship or psychological dynamic, which might not involve sexual acts. Examples of BDSM include: rope play, where someone is tied up artistically or tied down sexually; a dynamic where one partner has all the power and the other surrenders, such as following protocols (rules such as “Always call me Mistress” or “Duck your head so you’re never taller than Me”), or acting like a slave or servant to the other; the use of pain as part of a sexual act or relationship dynamic. This list is obviously not exhaustive.
All acts within BDSM are entered into by people who choose this, who carefully negotiate what they’re getting into, who have a lot of trust between them, and who can stop at any time.
BDS stands for Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions, and as of yet only refers to doing so against Israel. (Which is really weird, when you think about all the other countries of the world.) It is a modern blend of the Arab world’s refusal to accept Israel’s right to exist, beginning with a boycott of Jewish businessess in 1929, and of the Yishuv (pre-state Jewish community in Palestine) before Israel came into existence; and boycotts against Jews from the Christian world including Ireland, French-Canadian nationalists, the US’ “Buy Christian” campaigns and Ivy League Universities restricting Jewish entrants, and everybody’s favourite role model for how Jews are treated, Nazi Germany.
Excuse me. I actually feel sick after having done that research. I just took a huge dump, and jumped on my trampoline for a bit. Feel free to take a breather if you need one. Do snow angels on the floor.
I’m back, but I’m not okay.
BDS opposes “normalization,” which means that peace efforts between Israeli and Palestinian youth, or negotiations or dialogue between Palestinians and Israeli adults, are seen as “counterproductive” to their goal of ending the Jewish state. Instead, their tactics include boycotting goods made by Israelis or Palestinians that aren’t hard-line enough; divesting banks and businesses from having any relationships with Israel; and sanctioning governments and trade agreements to cut diplomatic ties with Israel and exclude it from membership in international forums. And, following in the Ivy League example, to bar all Israeli academics and artists from participation in information or cultural exchange.
Have you ever been that kid at school? Alone in the lunchroom, when everybody else refused to look at you? Or pushed into a locker, where bystanders laughed and people refused to help you?
I have so many more points to make about the overall comparisons between BDSM and BDS. But I really wanted to research the details of BDS first, in case I said anything wrong.
I regret that decision. Learning about this is making me sick. I can say a few quick things. But I really want to move on.
A few weeks ago, after doing some research on the effects of progressive movements, I came up with a theory that Israeli leadership and majority of its population have become increasingly right wing as a backlash against worldwide leftists getting harsher in their fight against Israel. This research has really strengthened my belief in that theory.
According to Wikipedia, Palestinian “President Mahmoud Abbas does not support a general boycott against Israel and has said that the Palestinians don't either.”
Palestinian-Israeli video blogger Nas Daily opposes boycotts of Israel. As a result, he is a target of BDS.
According to the Arab Council for Regional Integration, BDS has “cost the Arab nations billions in trade, ‘undercut Palestinian efforts to build institutions for a future state, and torn at the Arab social fabric, as rival ethnic, religious and national leaders increasingly apply tactics that were first tested against Israel.’” Not to mention the opportunity costs against Palestinian professionals such as doctors and engineers. Jewish Journal and New York Times.
Lessons: Both of these movements can give us insights about relationships. We can learn a lot from BDSM about negotiating social contracts and consenting to specific actions and dynamics within relationships. I’ve often thought that the type of conversations people in BDSM communities have in establishing boundaries, and willingness to explore things to discover what they like, would be so beneficial for people outside of those communities, in clear communication, and in getting to know their preferences and their partners’ preferences better.
From the BDS movement we can learn a lot about the impact of our words, our money, and the cultural influences that we take in. I actually think there’s a lot of wisdom in that. But, you know, I wish it was actually being used for good, like boycotting corporations that steal water, destroy land, and decimate small businesses, and not just for targetting Jews yet again.
There are a lot of points I wanted to get to. I still have my list, so I hope to return to this topic another day. But I really didn’t expect this to make me feel so ill. I have to stop.
I’m calling my safe word on the BDS movement. Red. Stop the scene. Let’s go back to respecting Jewish self-determination. I’d like some aftercare, please.